brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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