OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
