I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
