office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
