Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize