omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
