Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
