Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
