There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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