there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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