Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
