Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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