i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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