Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
