Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
