For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize