I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
