you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
