About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
