We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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