turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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