But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
