Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
