i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
