We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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