we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
