i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
