You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
