STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
