when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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