We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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