Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
