I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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