This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
