you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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