im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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