So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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