I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
