that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
