Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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