Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Don't EVER smell your tampon
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
