making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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