Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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