id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
