A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize