Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
