Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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