you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
