I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
