I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
