I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
