I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize