just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
