I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
