He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
