In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My feet surprised me
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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