I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
