brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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