dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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